Imperfections;






Typing this as the Husband and cookie are both sleeping soundly right beside me. 

 Looking at them and I feel sheer happiness and contentment - what did I do to deserve such perfection?



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 Let's talk about me. 

 I've done things I'm not proud of. As a child I grew up in a normal family; I studied hard and did pretty decent for my PSLE, got into the express stream in CCHY and had so many awesome Teachers throughout my school life. 

Well, I didn't cherish this fact. I started to skip school, did quite a lot funny things during my upper secondary school life and well, even got myself into CSS2, a singing competition that was fairly well known at that time.


Joining the competition changed me I guess. 
I started to like the attention I was given and spent a lot of time hanging out with my friends from the batch of CSS2. I neglected my studies and did real badly for my Os. 

I ran away from home as there were things I couldn't agree with my mum and thought I could survive outside by myself. 
But honestly no. 
I felt bad, I felt like a homeless loser and most importantly, I broke my parents hearts. 

 I went back, knowing my parents will forgive me and soon after, started my tertiary education at RP. 

I was lucky enough to have gotten into the Environmental Science course 
(which has really awesome career paths) and I did okay at that time.

Pardon my hair -.-

I graduated, but decided to pursue my love for music as a piano teacher, having learnt piano since I was 4. 

The kids I used to teach awhile back

I was lucky, blessed and thankful. 
Thankful for the opportunities, and that I survived from bad to good. 

Blessed with people who believed in me even at my lowest and lucky that I never strayed too far from the right path. 
 I'm not perfect, pretty imperfect actually. 

 My whole life I've been trying to be perfect, not for myself but for people to accept and love me. 
I taken so many types of diet supplements I can't even count to slim myself down, so I could stop getting judged by people who didn't even care about my well being.

 One day I got so skinny over exercising and not eating I was down with a serious case of anaemia and had to take medication to stabilise the condition, and while at it I ballooned from 47kg to 56kg. 

After stopping the medication, my weight dropped to 46kg and I'm thankful my condition never came back.

During my ugliest and fattest time.
Through ups and downs, I've figured the best way to feel happy and strong about myself is to just enjoy food the way I want but exercise for maintenance. 

Today, with the correct method, I am 44kg - even slimmer than before but I know I am healthy. 

 So many times people come up to me to tell me how much I've changed in terms of my looks and figure. 
I have stayed true to myself on the things I've done for myself to achieve the look I want today - I'm not obliged to share but honestly, it's so easy to look better nowadays, don't you agree? 

We have so many aesthetics clinics everywhere - with the right research and with the right doctor, anyone can be beautiful. 




























2014- after having braces
In case you all want to google photos of me, this is how I changed over the years. 


All in full display for you. 

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 But, it's just looks. 
How about inside out? 

 Some people have been going about behind my back saying stuffs about me, judging me, accusing me, and smearing my name. 
Calling me "plastic", asking me why I want to lie about doing things to change the way I look. 

 The thing is - I have NEVER admitted Nor denied. 

I am in no obligation to share (call me selfish), and I am still proud of myself and full of respect for myself for the things I've done for myself today. I don't need you to judge me nor spread unnecessary things about me. 

True friends will ask me, but not hear from the others. 
They listen to me and they will understand. 

 They are the ones who would tell me in my face if the dress I am wearing is fugly, the cookies I baked sucks or if I'm having a bad makeup/hair day but still love me the way I am. 

 So if you know nothing about me, but have been spreading rumors/trusting the rumours - Guess you are not a friend of mine. 
 I'm not perfect, but I accept myself for who I am; my past my present and looking forward to a better future.






For those who trusted me, who never strayed and always stayed by me, thank you. 

Thank you for being there, for believing in me and for shutting the naysayers up.

 - 

 I'm not saying I'm a beautiful person, whether inside or out. 

I am human and yes I admit, I did ever say or done things that I am not proud of and I do bitch too, especially with my best friends but I never once spread unnecessary rumours about people because I believe that karma do strike back. 

 - 

 So there, you have it. 

The real, imperfect me. 


Bare-faced.

Parts of my life that I avoid talking about and questions raised that I failed to answer, all out in full display. 



 So apart from all the good side you see on my photos on Instagram, this is as real as I can get now. 


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I'm not perfect, I hated the way I look and worked hard to try to be better since I was 16. 

I'm not perfect but I have real people around me who care for me and love me the way I am. 

I'm not perfect, so you can continue to judge me if you want, just be true to yourself, your words and your actions. 
I'm not perfect, and if you, my dear friends and readers, are still here supporting me and cheering me on, thank you. 

Thank you for loving and accepting me, the real, imperfect me. 

 Cheers, 
Agnes

10 comments

  1. Dear babe,
    People change over the years. I too have change and change for the better! I didn't do anything either but I do see that as one older, one does looks prettier because of what we are more into now (beauty & fashion). We are able to have or afford thing (beauty products) as we work for it. Back in school days it's all about studying as that's the priority, as we grew older and started working thats when we learn more about where we are spending, what we are putting into our body and on our skin. Naturally that will come in place slowly and hence making us looks way better and prettier then we were younger. I remember how i look at my old photo's and I'm like omg I used to be so damn dark and my haricut was like whatttttt but hey, we all grew to be better! I don't know who's judging you but I'm happy that you posted this simply because I get to know you a little better!

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    1. Thank you dear! It was just a post to let it all out because over time many things happened due to my "change" and even to the extent of losing friendships. I just thought I ought to speak up about it and I'm pretty sick of it hearing people telling me I "wont understand them" because "my life is too perfect" which is nonsense.
      I finally got the courage to say it all out and literally spill all my flaws over this little humble blog so people can know exactly what I've been through to get to where I am today. So glad you got to know me better, so glad you read this! Much love xoxo

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  2. Cheers Agnes! Proud of you! They say when you have haters it means you're really popular! (; Don't care about what others say because they don't know you nor your life. Let them spread the rumours, let them talk. Your friends and family know the real you and that's all that matters! Trust me because I've been through it before too where people judge me and come up with ridiculous stories about me that isn't even half true hahaha. Anyway, just dropping by to tell you, stay strong, gorgeous and happy!!!

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    1. Thank you dear! Nah I'm nowhere near popular just that I'm sad to know some naysayers were actually people I used to talk to or hang out with. Anyway I guess this is just a post to let it all out because over time many things happened due to my "change". I just thought I ought to speak up about it and I'm pretty sick of it hearing people telling me I "wont understand them" because "my life is too perfect" which is nonsense.
      I finally got the courage to say it all out and literally spill all my flaws over this little humble blog so people can know exactly what I've been through to get to where I am today. So glad you understand (been in the same boat :( ) but I'm glad to have your support! Thank you dearest <3

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  3. Dearest Aggy, thank you for such a personal post! It was really good to see and understand more about you. I'm sorry to hear that there are people out there trying to bring you down with hateful comments, but you're absolutely right - there are people who love you and care for you for the person you are, warts and all. And it doesn't matter what people think or say about how you've achieved what you are today, as long as you're satisfied with the choices you've made along the way. Add oil Aggy! In my humble opinion, you're a beautiful girl, both inside and out :) xxx @yangrams

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    1. You are the sweetest my dear! Thank you for dropping by my humble blog <3 you are very much cherished and I really hope to finally meet you in person some day. Don't you worry about me; just blogging to let it all out, sometimes it's so so good to rant!! :D
      Love you so! <3
      xoxo

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