Because love can be kind, honest and patient.

2017 was supposedly a not-too-good year for me.. but on a positive side note, I met him.

We shared the same passion, ideas, topics.
We bickered a lot too, but that should be the reason why it is so imperfectly perfect, right?

I was told, "Hey, you moved on pretty quickly yea?"
- but who are you to judge?

Are you me?
Have you ever felt dead inside, so much so that it's so dark you just desperately need to see light?

Besides the hurt, the lies, there seem to be nothing left to fight for because I can never understand infidelity.
If such a mistake was committed not once, not twice, but in fact a couple of times - tell me, what's there left to fight for?

I cried, I felt so much injustice and unfairness for myself but other than letting it go, other than healing, other than moving on, what else can I be doing?
Am I supposed to be dwelling on my past and how much I used to love this other person when obviously this other person has made mistakes to show that our love was nothing but just an empty shell?

And so yes, I've moved on, happily.

I struggled since 2016, hoping that after being separated for awhile we could work things out again because it's a marriage, a promise made between two for a lifetime.
Sadly it didn't work out still, and ended badly when I found out things that I should have since a couple of years back when things were still going good.

5 years ago I've made a vow and signed a piece of legal paper only to be congratulated with people that never stood by me when all the hurt happened, and 5 years later it ended with just the two of us in a cold small room signing yet another agreement that we part ways, that we are no longer one, that we are free from each others' lives.

It's a fact that he is still part of my little boy's life (Cookie, that is, we don't have kids, which I'm pretty thankful for) and I have no intentions to stop him from seeing Cookie.

There was a lot of pain and hurt, not only on my part but I believe also his and I guess the time when we both agreed to let go is when we let go of the anger and hate and decided to remain friends.


[ Moving on ]

To you :

Thank you for being here for me - you've seen so many sides of me within these few months but you still choose to stay.
Thank you for fighting for me, fighting along with me and giving me so much assurances, holding me when I breakdown so many times and standing firm when I wavered and felt lost.

I'm not at my 100% yet but I'm not too far from it now, I know, because I have you.
Thank you for loving Cookie too.

You are my better, my home.


With love,

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