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The Pillow Talk;

Didn't start this year off with a bang -.-
I've been sleeping in waaaaaayyy too much and trying to get my lazy ass up for work.
(That explains why I'm lying in a pool of pillows/cushions LOL)

So many big plans coming up and there's a lot to do so I guess I will need more alarm clocks (those that actually works) to get my lazy ass outta my super comfy bed.

Goodbye, demons of 2017.

I have never been happier and more excited about the new year. 😊
Thinking back, it was not an easy year.

I was stuck in a pretty bad shape especially the start of the year.

I had a career switch and started singing full-time - was pretty lucky to have met the right people to lead me the right way into this career and feeling extremely thankful.

Meeting new friends, new people was a total eye opener.
Finding out the truths to many things was even a bigger step of change in my life for me.

For a period of time I was so down and depressed that I feel I couldn't even breathe properly or live well. 
It's like I sometimes feel I don't even deserve to be happy anymore, because of all the shit.
And I just want to live my life day by day, see how things goes.

Closed down TACT.sg because it brought back some painful and bad memories and am happy that I'm currently working to doing up something with Nat ❤️️

And knowing this man makes this whole year so so much better, and me so so much stronger.

Anyways.... our new cover is up so check it out :


Looking back, I felt like I used this entire year to try to get better.
I didn't achieve much other than walking out of toxicity but I really hope that this brand new year will be a total brand new start for me.

I mean, I was brave enough to be strong and survived all these shit so far... what's worse, right?

Resolutions for the new year :

1) Spend more quality time with my family/friends

With winter bae

I admit, sometimes I get so caught up with my own life/work that I always tend to neglect this part of my life - the important people in it.
Let's hope I get to travel more with those that matter most

Kick-starting of this resolution of mine with a trip with the boyfee to the land of sashimi!
(Crossing my fingers that we really will go 🙏)

2) Just do it.

Yea seriously.
There's a problem with me - that I can have so many ideas and plans but ALWAYS either procrastinate in doing it or am afraid of doing so because I'm afraid to fail.

I'm exactly opposite of the boyfee.
He's a do-er and yea it really does kick some sense in me when I see him at work.
It makes me feel like I WANT TO DO MORE.
And for a start he bought me loads of notebooks and a planner for 2018.

3) Spend more time with the little boy.

Literally the most understanding one... okay la maybe he cannot complain that's why hahaha but he's really the little life that stuck through the thick and thin with me.

I really aim to spend more time with him this year, maybe take him out more or perhaps find him a girlfriend???

4) Be a better singer.

Something that I really need to work on more if I want to keep my job 😱
There's seriously a huge list of songs I'm supposed to learn... and crossing my fingers that my weekly vocal lessons will help.

If you all think being a singer is an easy job... it's NOT.
I shall show you all some behind-the-scenes video footages soon.... 😳

5) Be a better person.

This...well... is on my list of NY resolutions every freaking year.
Not that I'm a bad person or what... but I'm only human;
I make mistakes too (forgivable ones la HAHA) and ya la I strive to be better.

Maybe make more donations, be kinder to people, be more understanding/show others more empathy?

6) Save more money - less shopping
I recall telling the boyfee I need to see a doctor....
because I think I'm a shopaholic and it's super bad.

Like 40%-50% of my phone apps are shopping apps...

Okay 2018.. I try I try...

7) Travel more
I seriously aim to visit 4-5 countries this year.. well, we shall see!

8) Love and live for those who matter

I think one problem about me is that sometimes I care a little too much about what others say or think about me.
But come to think of it, at the end of the day those who matter won't mind, right?
I'm glad for those who have loved me for who I am so far, and still are every single day.
So naysayers aside... I'm just going to concentrate in making myself and the ones I love happy everyday ❤️️

9) Be happier

Cuz enough of bloody 2016 and 2017...
let's make 2018 a BOMB!

10) Be successful in at least something by the end of 2018
This one ties pretty closely with point (1) - if I start doing and stop procrastinating or fearing, I believe I should be pretty successful at at least something by the end of 2018?? 👌😉


I'm finally done with all these shit.
The drama, the bad stuffs, the hurt.

I'm going to be so so strong this year on and work on being a total bad-ass girl boss 😙

Excited for the longer road ahead, the bigger plans coming my way.


With love,

Because love can be kind, honest and patient.

2017 was supposedly a not-too-good year for me.. but on a positive side note, I met him.

We shared the same passion, ideas, topics.
We bickered a lot too, but that should be the reason why it is so imperfectly perfect, right?

I was told, "Hey, you moved on pretty quickly yea?"
- but who are you to judge?

Are you me?
Have you ever felt dead inside, so much so that it's so dark you just desperately need to see light?

Besides the hurt, the lies, there seem to be nothing left to fight for because I can never understand infidelity.
If such a mistake was committed not once, not twice, but in fact a couple of times - tell me, what's there left to fight for?

I cried, I felt so much injustice and unfairness for myself but other than letting it go, other than healing, other than moving on, what else can I be doing?
Am I supposed to be dwelling on my past and how much I used to love this other person when obviously this other person has made mistakes to show that our love was nothing but just an empty shell?

And so yes, I've moved on, happily.

I struggled since 2016, hoping that after being separated for awhile we could work things out again because it's a marriage, a promise made between two for a lifetime.
Sadly it didn't work out still, and ended badly when I found out things that I should have since a couple of years back when things were still going good.

5 years ago I've made a vow and signed a piece of legal paper only to be congratulated with people that never stood by me when all the hurt happened, and 5 years later it ended with just the two of us in a cold small room signing yet another agreement that we part ways, that we are no longer one, that we are free from each others' lives.

It's a fact that he is still part of my little boy's life (Cookie, that is, we don't have kids, which I'm pretty thankful for) and I have no intentions to stop him from seeing Cookie.

There was a lot of pain and hurt, not only on my part but I believe also his and I guess the time when we both agreed to let go is when we let go of the anger and hate and decided to remain friends.


[ Moving on ]

To you :

Thank you for being here for me - you've seen so many sides of me within these few months but you still choose to stay.
Thank you for fighting for me, fighting along with me and giving me so much assurances, holding me when I breakdown so many times and standing firm when I wavered and felt lost.

I'm not at my 100% yet but I'm not too far from it now, I know, because I have you.
Thank you for loving Cookie too.

You are my better, my home.


With love,